Love and the King

Oh, to be young and in love--or just drunk and in love.

The first thing you should know to begin this story is that the ATM at my store is on dial up and although it has not been long since the rest of the world upgraded, dial up machines are now considered dinosaurs.

If it's outdatedness isn't enough, the fact that the common sense of many people in this town has so conveniently disappeared, they can't figure out how to work it since the first screen says "enter your personal identification number and then press this button." As I watch people mash the button over and over with more force each time, I always catch my wondering how so many people can be so dumb. Just to clear the air, PIN stands for personal identification number. What a concept, I know.

On this one particular night, a very happy and lively drunk boy stopped by to get some money for his taxi ride. He was struggling. After watching him print out 3 receipts with no money, I thought it might be safe to assume he could use a little help.

I walked him through the very simple process and lo and behold, money came out! At the time that we were finishing his ATM transactions, a regular customer of mine, whom I will call Johnny, walked in.

Johnny is probably one of my favorite customers. I never really know what to expect from him. Well, this night, he had shaved off his beard, his dark hair was perfectly coiffed and he was wearing a blue satin jogging jacket with a picture of a desert on the back. I mean, it certainly isn't something I would have picked out, but like I said, one never really know what to expect from him.

After throwing himself a little party, the drunk boy jumps with joy as he grabs his money. On his way out the door, he showers me with love. "Thank you so much for helping me! I love you! I love you so much! Thank you! I love you so much, baby!" I'm now standing behind the counter facing Johnny directly, so he and I just exchange looks of "this kid is way too happy right now" as we roll our eyes, but right before the door shuts in the boy's face, he turns to Johnny and yells "Elvis! The king! I love you too, man!"

With a curled lip, Johnny turns around, curls his lip and simply responds "Yeah, mama."